Camping Out

Dear Zemira,

I don't know what I did to deserve this but paddling the lake with Job as my partner is one of the most taxing things I've ever had to do. Just being around that guy is taking your life in your hands. Not only is he shitty paddler but this thing he's got going with God is enough to make me worry about my own safety.

Yesterday, after we set up camp, he lit himself on fire while he was making dinner. I pushed him into the lake and he was o.k., for the most part, but all he talked about for the rest of the night was how his faith was still intact and that he believed God was doing good by him.
"I could have died, but He saved me by providing you with divine inspiration."
"I pushed you into the lake, Job. It wasn't divine, it was necessary. Can we just get some sleep, please."

It wouldn't be so bad if he would just lose his cool now and again. The other guys are starting to mess with him on purpose but he claims they are just acting as the agents of Satan. Of all things. Where does he come up with this stuff?

I sat him down this morning and explained to him that he was just enabling these guys by not trying to get even with them. I even told him that it was me who short-sheeted Abner, but he keeps insisting that the idea came to me from God and that he's happy that he's partnered with me and not Barnabas. You just can't talk to him anymore.

When we finally made it to Mizpeh, after hiking across the hills all afternoon, Job admitted to me that he didn't have any money. Claims he lost it all when Satan tricked him into buying cloth that turned to dust the minute his back was turned, but I suspect that he was dicing with Abishag and that he was too embarrassed to admit it. I had to buy him lunch and he's promised to put in a good word with the Lord on my behalf but I suspect I'll never see that money again.

That's about it for now. So far this weekend has been a bust and if anyone suggests that we invite Job along on the trip to Geshur I'm going to bring my own tent.


Love,
Joshua