The End Is Near

"He couldn't find his socks; that's what took him so long. We were all out there, marching up and down the sidewalk in the freezing cold, our hands becoming one with a styrofoam cup of coffee and he was at home, rummaging under his bed for a sock. I say we kick him out. If he doesn't take this seriously then I say we make an example out of him. Take away his board and we'll find someone to replace him."
"Calm down, Gord. He's here now, and he's the best writer we have, so he stays."

I had just walked into the seventh annual Sandwich Board Artist's Fair, over at the Jack Purcell Community Centre and the tone of the competition was fierce. This was an event held annually to celebrate the talents of some of the best in the fine art of the Sandwich board. Most of the action and all of the events were outside but contestants, contributors and the public were allowed access to the centre to warm up, use the facilities and buy coffee. That's where I found Team Torrington, last year's winning team, getting ready for the 100 Yard Strike Breaker, the event they had the most trouble with last year. After a brief introduction, I had a chance to talk with Tim Torrington, the dynamic leader of the team and, as I'd learned from the above almost altercation, something of a diplomat as well.

"Thanks, Tim, for taking a few minutes to speak with us, just before what must be the most punishing event at the Fair. "

"No problem, Mike. It's always good to see you. As you can probably tell, the tension is getting a little thick, but y'know that's what Sandwich Boarding is about. To compete at this level, I believe the team actually works better with some amount of friction. A Sandwich Board Artist is a confrontational man, and I never try to discourage a member of my team from making a point on or off the field."
"Tim, the Strike Breaker is a controversial event, one you've always had a little trouble with. What is it that sets this event apart from events like the Apocalyptic Warning or the Religious Coercion and in particular, it seems to me that the kind of friction I'm seeing here, on your team today, might not work so well in an event like the Strike Breaker, where a team must be unified in purpose to be truly effective."
"Mike, let me set the record straight by saying that Team Torrington has never been stronger. The Strike Breaker comes down to some very precise foot work and the level of concentration needed to be 'unified in purpose', as you say, is actually honed by the distrust and recrimination of the team members. My purpose is to redirect that distrust of each other outward, for this event and right up to the last minute the emotional intensity displayed must be sincere, otherwise no one would believe it. Last year, we had a tough time with this event simply because we had had so much success earlier on that we let that intensity wane. Not this year Mike. If I may be so bold, I'll bet your headline tomorrow reads, 'Team Torrington does it again.'"

Team Torrington, however, did not do it again and the defeat came from within as, during the last stage of the Strike Breaker, two team members started to fight with each other. With nothing but their gloved fists showing they ran each other and the crash was deafening as their boards met. While no one was hurt in the melee, it was clear that Tim Torrington's hopes were dashed and that perhaps he was wrong about the level of intensity he likes to inspire in his team. A Sandwich Board Artist is a peculiar breed and while no one could accuse them of not being devoted to their art, some of them are a little too confrontational for their own good.