Waterlogged

Thomas Macaulay once said, of the Hippopotamus, "I have seen the Hippo, both asleep and awake, and I can assure you, asleep or awake, he is the ugliest of the works of God." I choose to believe that Macaulay said this with a warmth in his voice and a smile on his lips, letting everyone know that he was also expressing affection for the beast.

And what's not to like? By day Hippos lounge in whatever water they can find, trying to beat the heat, and by night they march out of their mud holes, in single file, sometimes wearing a five foot trench in the loose earth, to graze all night on grasses under the moonlight. Without a worry to appearance, they do exactly what they must to get by, and given a little down time, will frolic and roll around with each other, sometimes getting pissy with someone but mostly just enjoying life, such as it is.

Macaulay, never once a pageant winner himself, and who went on to become a lawyer, a member of the Supreme Council of India, a key player in the abolition of slavery in the West Indies, Post Master General and a best selling author for his History of England, lived to be 59 years old. The average Hippo will live about half that time.

Given the choice I'd rather be a Hippo.