Take That as a Compliment

Every now and again I get a lesson in perspective, even when I don't particularly want one. I was recently informed, in a matter-of-fact way, that I wasn't invited when some of my single girl friends decided to have a night on the town. They explained that they didn't want me fouling up their chances with potential partners by being an unknown element in their midst. According to my friends, men aren't interested in them because I'm sitting with them. On the flip side women aren't interested in me unlesss I'm sitting at a table with other women. If you think about it this makes perfect sense, in a very weird way.

When I walk into a bar and see that guy sitting alone at a table, looking around at girls and trying to appear relaxed, the first thing I think is, "Go home, man. It's not going to happen tonight."

In that group of guys over there, the one who's waving his arms and telling a joke and generally being over-bearing should go home, too.

You. Yeah, you. If you're going to wear that jacket, buy some shoes that match. Go home.

Excuse me. Yeah, most girls don't care if you can keep the pool table all night long. They do care if you can kick some ass, but aren't going to be your personal cheering squad. Go home.

The curious thing about women is that they aren't interested in guys who appear, and are very obviously single. They want that guy, there. The one sitting in the middle of the table of girls. If other women find him interesting you might, too.

My single girl friends have forgotten one very important thing about men. We can tell if your single, even when you're surrounded by guys. If you've haven't met the right man, it isn't because you're sitting with me.

Of course, I've left out one very salient point and that is that they weren't going out to find husbands or boyfriends, or meaningful relationships. They had something else on their minds.

Mmmm. Now where can I meet girls like that?