On The Road To Eleusis

"Hey, there you are."
"Here I am. How are you holding up?"
"Good. I'm hungry, though. When do we get to eat? All this fasting and walking is wearing me down."
"Well, this is the fifth day of the Mysteries, so that means that after we get cursed at, we get to drink the kykeon at Eleusis and after a night of celebration, we eat."
"Wait a second. What do you mean we get cursed at?"
"You weren't listening in Athens were you?"
"No, I was talking to a very pretty girl and missed most of what they were saying."
"Well, Baubo was an old crone who made Demeter laugh by telling her dirty jokes and flashing the Goddess."
"Ugghh. What does that have to do with us getting cursed at?"
"It's just a reference to Baubo. They'll have a bunch of locals lined up and down the street and when we pass they'll hurl obscenities at us. It's really pretty fun."
"Fun, eh? So then what? We drink this stuff and party?"
"Yeah. It's some sort of hallucinogen. Makes for a very weird night, let me tell you."
"I take it, you've done this before."
"My second year, friend. I was initiated last year. I met my wife at Eleusis. We were so high. Good night."
"Wow. So there's lots of action at this party, eh?"
"Not the kind of action you're thinking of. It's not allowed."
"Not allowed? What kind of party is that? Sounds pretty dull to me."
"I think you've got the wrong idea, my friend. We dance and tell stories and just have fun. That sort of thing."
"Well, what kind of Mysteries are we talking about, then?"
"Can't tell you. Not allowed. That's why they're called Mysteries, my man. You'll just have to wait and find out."
"You're not kidding are you? This is a rip-off. I'm not walking all the way to Eleusis just to hang out with a bunch of ponsy do-gooders and listen to religious gibberish. I was told this was a great bash. I knew I should have gone to the Dionysia. Now that's a party. I got so drunk last year. I woke up two towns over and had to thumb it all the way back to Athens."
"Look, I'm not really into that sort of thing. I'm going to walk with someone else if you don't mind."
"Don't be such a prude, man. I'm just saying that it seems like a waste of time, walking all the way down there if there's not going to be any action, y'know?"
"No, I don't know."
"Y'know you really are a drag. I'm outta here."
"Suit yourself but your gonna miss a good time."
"Doesn't sound all that good to me. Shit, I wish you'd told me this before we left Athens. Friggin' wierdos."
"Hey, that's about enough of that. Why don't you just go and leave us alone. Go have fun diddling Dionysus, or something."
"Oh yeah, well, have fun not having fun, loser."
"Whatever, you clod. May you be infested with crabs and syphilis."
"Thanks, man. Nice talk for a religious man. You're a real treat. What a jerk. And now I have to walk all the way back. Maybe I can catch a ride with someone. Hey, ladies, what's going on? You ever hear of Dionysus?"