Don't Take Advice From a Goat

"Tell me something." I said to her.
"Something." she said with a laugh that made me melt.
She was petite and pretty and I could understand why she inspired so much frustration.
"Why would someone like you be attracted to an idiot like Narcissus." It was a little pointed but I have to admit to a certain frustration when it comes to the choices that women make.
She sighed and said only, "Narcissus." I thought I was going to be sick. 'Love is blind' the saying goes but I might add deaf, dumb and totally stupid to the saying.
"Sure, he might be good looking but there's got to be more to it than that."
"More to it than that." she answered in a dreamy way.

"After all this time she's still in love with the guy. I just don't get it."
"What don't you get?" said Pan. "The girl's nuts. She made me crazy, too, and I can have anybody I want."
I decided now wasn't the time to remind him about Syrinx, but then she hadn't totally escaped him, either. I was more confused than ever when he sat up and belched into the night, clearing the patio more efficiently than a fire alarm, but not before two or three girls stopped by to give him their numbers.
"Look." he said, wiping his mouth on the back of his arm, "If you're hoping to understand women I'll tell you all you need to know. You will never truly win the heart of any woman by being nice to them. You can try to understand them, you can try to take care of them and you hope they'll love you for it, but the truth is, while they'll respect you, they'll never love you."
"Yeah, yeah. I've heard this one before. They want the bad boys. I asking why. Why do they want the bad boys?"
"Are you an idiot? They like the bad boys because they wish they could be as self-consumed as they are. They wish that they could act like that and get away with it. They want to emulate that behavior because everybody admires the guy who doesn't give a shit what anybody else thinks of them and does what he wants, even if it means breaking a few hearts."
"I think you're full of shit."
"Hey man, I didn't make the rules. Why don't you go ask Echo."
"Ugh. Talking to her gives me a headache."
"That, my friend, is why I don't waste my breath talking."

I set the mug down in front of her and she smiled in return. She was beautiful and aloof, but I could read a sadness in her eyes that very nearly broke my heart.
"Even after he refused you, you still love him, don't you? He treated you like shit and you still think he'll come around." I didn't want to appear insensitive but her refusal to see the reality of the situation was making me crazy.
"He'll come around." she said softly.
"No, he won't, Echo. You've got to stop this foolishness and get on with your life. Don't you want to find someone who respects you, someone who will love you as much as you love him? Someone who cares? Someone like me?" I paused and then decided to just say it. "Echo, I have to tell you something. I love you."
"I love you.", she said woodenly.
"You do?" I looked at her but then it dawned on me that she was just saying it to make me feel better.
"Hey, don't do that. Don't fool around with me." I said.
"Fool around with me." she said. She smiled and batted her eyelashes at me and I thought for a second I might faint.
"Really, do you mean it? Are you sure?"
"Sure." she answered and all at once my heart filled with a joy and a gladness that made me ache all over.
"I knew you'd come around. That guy's no good for you. I can make you happy. I may not be as good looking as Narcissus but I've got something he doesn't."
"Something he doesn't?" she asked.
"Yeah. I've got heart."
"I've got heart."
"Uh...o.k."
"Uh...o.k."
"What are you doing?"
"What are you doing?"
"Stop that. It's really annoying."
"Stop that. It's really annoying."
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"With me?"
"With me?"


"What did you think was going to happen? You're such an idiot." Pan laughed heartily and wouldn't stop until I got up a grabbed my coat.
"Hey, C'mon kid. I tried to warn you about her. Don't take it so seriously." he said wiping a tear from his cheek.
"I can't help it. I take things seriously. That's what I do." I signaled the server who handed me the bill and I noticed that I was paying for Pan, too.
"You don't have any money, do you?"
"Money. What do I need money for when I've got good friend's like you." he said as he stood up, still laughing. "Oh Jesus, you're funny, kid. Let me give you a bit of advice. Be nice, if you have to. Hell, even be accommodating from time to time, but remember, women need a challenge. Give them everything they want and they'll leave you crying into your beer. Everybody needs a little mystery in life, otherwise no one would need for anything. Be a little mystery. Keep a little something from them from time to time and you'll never be alone again."
"Oh, really? I'll keep that in mind. Can we go now?"
Pan chuckled into the night air. "Yeah, we can go." he said.
"Hey." he grabbed my arm and pointed me up the avenue. "I know a little place close by where you can practice some of your bad boy moves and I promise no one will get hurt. You might even enjoy yourself."
"Oh yeah?" I said, not even remotely interested.
"It might cost us a bit of that money you're also so careful with, though." he winked at me and I knew it was going to be a long night.
"Sure. I guess I've got nothing else to do."
"That's my boy." he said as he struck off into the night, whistling a happy little tune.