Journal

My toes were little cubes of ice and I wondered what would happen if I didn't find somewhere to get warm. I imagined myself toeless, unable to keep my balance, falling into some woman's lap and excusing myself by saying, "No toes, y'know." She would look at me with sympathy and offer to take me home, helping me to keep my balance as she had her driver tuck me into the back seat.

I thought if Dilly and I huddled together under a bush our body heat would keep us warm until the sun came up but he wasn't having any of it. Just the sort of dumb idea one comes up with at three in the morning, having missed all the buses home, with no money for a cab and too far from anywhere to walk.

There are times in my life when I find myself in situations that defy explanation. I have to admit that I was probably drunk on more than one of those occasions but then we all have our flaws so don't even think of laughing at mine. In about two minutes I could come up with plenty of reasons you should probably keep your mouth shut.

As I said, Dilly wasn't having any of the 'under a bush' thing. He just couldn't stomach the thought of cuddling up to me even if it meant not losing his toes. He's a stupid arse anyway. We were walking down Murray street when he spotted a bank machine entrance we could get warm in. For some reason lying under a bush in the park was more attractive to me than spending the night in the bank machine cubicle but I followed him in and sat down against the wall. He was asleep in about a minute and I sat there until dawn wondering how light was going to change our situation at all. We would still have no money, and it would still be cold out and we would still be too far from home.

As it started to get light out I kicked Dilly but he wouldn't wake up. I left him there and began to walk. I was cutting through the Rideau Centre when I saw a guy I used to work with a year ago, or so and I went over to talk with him. He was waiting for a bus and I asked him for enough money to get home. I was kind of surprised when he gave it to me and I thought briefly about asking for enough for Dilly too, but I decided not to push my luck. Dilly could find his own way home, stupid tool.

My mom was just getting up when I got home and she made me some breakfast before she left for work. I told her I didn't have to work today so she asked me to clean up a bit. I will, but not right now. Right now, as soon as I'm done writing this, I'm going to bed. I'm tired and pretty hung over too. I got twenty bucks from my mom, though, and Hatcher's got some pot. I'll give Kylie a call, later, and she if she wants to hang out. Two weeks until my birthday.