78% Water!

Yesterday, I watched a truck drive by, on it the name of a local transmission repair company. The logo said, "We specialize in honesty". I'd rather they specialize in transmissions.

As a walking billboard for who I am at any given moment, I'd like to say, "78% Water". If the truth is to be told, I am usually hopelessly unaware of what it is I am advertising. I obviously haven't considered just what it is I'm selling. Any good marketing scheme begins with the product.
A guy. Doesn't jump out at me.
A man. Better, but there hundreds of competitors out there selling the same thing.
A nice man. See below.
A strong man. Phhtt!

"It sleeps, it walks, it can drive a car! This limited time offer is available to you! Tired of no one sleeping on your couch? Tired of the dishes remaining where you put them, clean and out of site? Then this man is for you! He comes with little or no ambition, will make bad decisions without consultation, knows little or nothing about the world outside of where to find the beer store, and will entertain your friends by starting arguments about nothing after only seven beer! Don't wait, act now! With your self worth as a downpayment you can have this specimen for the low, low price of your dignity, your dreams of a happy future and for a limited time he'll appear to be nice, normal and without a mother complex."
Keep in mind that the word 'nice' is derived from the Latin nescius, 'ignorant' and meant foolish and simpleminded.

Maybe today I'll shave.